For later-life brands that sell things people need but don't want to buy
Your marketing talks about your brand.Your customers only care about their problem.
What you value is not what they value. Keep the brand the same. Make a better argument. 2x the response.
It's free and only takes three minutes.
Tested against their own controls
Tapi CarpetsChurchill LivingSussex BedsVintage Cash Cow
Sound familiar?
- Response is falling, and nobody can say why.
- Creative looks right, but it performs about the same.
- What to test next comes down to whose opinion wins.
- You're discounting harder or paying more for every lead.
Before you change the media, the design, the team or the agency, look at your argument.
The short version
What I do, in a minute
The problem, why it happens and what I do about it. No sound needed.
Free. Three minutes.
Why it happens
It's called the Value Trap
If your marketing talks about your brand before it talks about your customer's problem, you've got a problem.
| Your comms start with | Your audience is looking for |
|---|---|
| Your product | Their problem |
| Your solution | How it feels |
| What your brand values | What they value |
It happens because it comes down to everyone who writes, designs and approves your marketing. They're all paid to care about your brand, not to mention how few of them have ever thought of their job as salesmanship. It's nobody's fault. No one's doing anything wrong. They're just not judging the work through the eyes that matter.
I bet your customers say they love everything about what you sell after they've bought it. My job is to make them understand your value way before.
Why it sticks
Looking fine and working hard aren't the same thing.
The work gets approved because it looks right, so nobody really questions it. And when you do test, it's headlines, images and formats. The argument rarely changes, so you never find out whether a better one exists.
OK creative is the most expensive kind. Killing response softly, because it doesn't look wrong.
What changes
Same brand. Better argument.
2x the response.
Same brand.
Same product, same audience, same spend.
Better argument.
Value your audience cares about, not what your brand does.
2x the response.
Your comms work twice as hard with the assets you already have.
A cost per sale you can explain to the board. Briefs that start from what your customers responded to. A team that knows what to say, and why.
The results
What happened to response when they changed the argument
Tapi Carpets
Direct mail
Arguments tested head to head across a Roadmap. The first test, a Consult, returned £1.4m on £200k.
+100%response
Churchill Living
Door drop
The rebuild shown below, tested against the original.
+100%response
Sussex Beds
Direct mail and inserts
The incentive was the only reason to respond. Rewrites across seasonal campaigns, each one tested and built on the last.
+324%uplift
Vintage Cash Cow
Door drop
A new format, built from a Consult, against a control that had worked for a year.
+20 to 25%response
Proof that people value problems, not products.
See what changed in each"I've finally got a creative person who talks my language."
Homewise
"On QR redemption alone, £140k+ in sales, the door drop test paid for itself."
Tapi Carpets & Floors
"Best performing door drop campaign we've ever run."
Sussex Beds
Brands I've worked with
How your comms get judged
The No One Cares Framework
The name says it: no one cares about your brand, your product or your service.
The No One Cares Framework judges every piece of comms against that truth, and helps you build your argument around four questions:
- 01Is it valuable?Does it talk about a problem your audience cares about?
- 02Is it persuasive?Does it give people reason to believe you, answer their doubts and make them act now?
- 03Is it organised?Does it make the reading easy, so nobody has to join the dots themselves?
- 04Is it clear?Can someone understand what you're selling in two seconds?
What you get
Find out if you're in the Value Trap
Take the Test. If you're in it, book a Review. I'll email you for one piece, score it against the 40 checks, then we go through it together. All free. You only pay if you want me to do the work.
When you want the work done
The Consult: prove it on one piece
I rebuild one piece around a stronger argument, copy and design, and you test it against what you run now.
Your control vs mine. Let's see what wins.
One example, start to finish
Churchill Living, door drop. I rebuilt it around a stronger argument, and they tested it against the version they were running.
Before: the control
- A brand-first headline
- Competing messages
- No social proof
- A weak incentive
- A buried call to action
After: the rebuild
- Rebuilt around the reader's problem
- Proof they can see
- One clear next step
+100%
response vs control
Why it worked: the rebuild opened on the reader's problem, gave them proof, and asked for one clear next step. Same brand. A better argument.
From £5,999, depending on the format. Typically two to three weeks.
The Roadmap: find out what makes your customers act
One good argument isn't a plan
Once you find an argument that beats your control, what next? You don't know whether a better one exists. The Roadmap finds out.
Arguments built from your customers' problems go head to head in live tests, and the results build your Value Map. You plan every campaign around what's proven, so your customers decide what your advertising says.
Tapi Carpets tested arguments head to head. Response doubled, from 2.59% to 5.18%, and orders rose 22% year on year.
1. Find the problem behind the problem.
I take every problem your marketing talks about, look at it through eight lenses, and ask why until I reach the deep problem.
2. Ladder it back to your product.
Each lens can give one argument, one reason to act. "I'm struggling with the stairs" becomes "Let your daughter be your daughter, rather than your carer."
3. Test them head to head.
Your team makes the creative from my brief. I check both versions before they go out, and I read every result.
4. Build your Value Map.
Over 12 to 24 months, the results show which problems make your customers act.
£25,999, or a mix of upfront fee and cost per acquisition.
How the Consult and the Roadmap workThe Value Map
A map of what makes your customers act
Every problem your comms talk about goes on the map. Each one shows what your customers did when you tested it. Next time someone asks "Why are we leading with that?", you'll have the results to show them.
Today, what your advertising talks about is decided by what ran last time, stakeholder bias and the approval process. Two years from now, it's decided by what your customers value.
It could be the most valuable thing your team ever owns.
Questions
Is it free?
Yes. The Test, the Score and the Review cost nothing. You only pay if you want me to do the work: a Consult or a Roadmap.
What do I send?
One piece you send to customers: a door drop, insert, direct mail pack or press ad. When you book a Review, I'll email you to ask for it.
Is my creative kept private?
Yes. Only you and I see it. The AI service that scores it processes it on my behalf. I never share it or use it as an example without your written permission.
Why print?
That's where the Score starts. Print costs the most per contact, so a weak argument costs the most too. The framework itself works in any channel, and a Consult can apply it to your digital comms.
Who's behind it?
Alec Bartlett. 20-plus years fixing underperforming creative, starting in off-the-page advertising. Why later-life brands?
Your customers only care about their problem. Does your marketing?
Not ready? Watch the 18-minute talk: The hidden cost of OK creative